The Rumor Mill: Part 2

1. Master Elodin threw me off the roof of the Haven
   Well. This one is interesting because what actually happened is significantly crazier than what the rumor says. The rumor is that Elodin and I were having a fight which ended in him throwing me off the roof. Some say we were having a heated verbal debate, others say I barely said anything and Elodin just snapped, others still say we did battle like Taborlin the Great, calling lightning and fire down from the sky, until I was finally bested by the one and only Master Namer.
   What actually happened is I wanted him to teach me naming, he said no, we walked through his old room at the Haven (which he somehow escaped from, again), we found ourselves on the roof, he looked me in the eye and said "Kvothe, step off the roof," and I stepped off the roof.
   No, he didn't hypnotize me.
   He didn't push me.
   He didn't even touch me.
   I thought he would demonstrate his naming prowess by calling the wind or something to catch me.
   He didn't.
   I'm an idiot.
   But apparently I'm a durable idiot, seeing as I only got out with a broken arm.
2. I killed two assassins by calling lightning down on them
   I wish! They were just two thugs meant to beat me up (I think, they might have been trying to kill me but I hope not). All I did was, I had some magnesium in my pocket from my work in the Fishery making sympathy lamps, so I threw it at them and lit it on fire in midair using sympathy, and the flash blinded them.
   The scary thing is they had a dowsing compass to find me. If you didn't already know, a dowsing compass is like a mommet but instead of stabbing it with needles to kill someone it just points you in their direction. The point is these thugs were idiots, but they had assistance from a skilled arcanist.
   I think it was Ambrose. I wouldn't put it past him to overreact like that.
3. I ran through a massive fire in the Fishery to save Fela
   This one is true and I'm damn proud of myself for it. There was a chemical spill and it caused a MASSIVE fire, and Fela almost died, but I saved her. Lost my eyebrows for it though.
4. Fela repaid me in the way only a woman can
   This rumor is more ridiculous than the one where I'm half demon. Fela would never do that and whoever started this should feel ashamed of themselves.
5. I won my pipes at the Eolian using a broken lute
   This is half true, one of the strings broke while I was playing "The Lay of Sir Savien Traliard." Let me tell you, that hard is already extremely difficult with a working lute, let alone a lute missing a string. And you know what, I still made the audience cry during the last verse.

Okay, that's all the major ones circulating now. Feel free to start crazy rumors about me, I kind of enjoy dispelling them.

--Kvothe

The Eolian, the finest music bar in all the four corners of civilization