a littl drunk

iv'e been out at the eolian drikning with SImmon and Willem and i have some things tos ay

the chandrian are REAL, i know because i SAW them, htey killd my family and i saw them do it

the main guy in th emiddle was calld Haliax nd he said my parents were "singing the entire wrong songs!" and my dad was workin on a song abuot the chandrin and he said he had a break through about the story right before he died

But my dad was real secretave so he didnt tell nyone about what was in the song so i don't know what he found out but it must have been REALLY IMPORTANT becuase the chandrian killed him for it

Haliax, leader of the chandrian

I DID IT!!!

Yesterday I called the name of the wind, and on none other than Ambrose Jackis!

He deserved it too, the slimy rat. He stole and subsequently shattered my lute, my one and only possession in this world, the only thing I own worth any money, and one of my only true friends right now. I got so angry that I just shouted the first thing that came to my head and the next thing I knew Ambrose was on the ground and leaves were blowing everywhere. Then I passed out and when I came to Elodin was whispering something in my ear.

I'm being brought to the horns soon over malfeasance. I'm not sure what will happen. To be completely truthful it was an accident, although I don't regret it a bit. The only thing that has stopped Ambrose and I from killing each other thus far has been possible expulsion. Honestly I don't think I'll be expelled, because I have Elodin, Elxa Dal, the Chancellor and Kilvin on my side, and the only headmasters who really want to see me gone are Hemme and Brandeur, and maybe Lorren but he's impossible to read sometimes. Hopefully I can get them to make Ambrose pay for a new lute though, I feel naked without it.

--Kvothe

I now know the name of the wind, and thus I have mastery over it. I'm like the next Taborlin the Great

The Rumor Mill: Part 2

1. Master Elodin threw me off the roof of the Haven
   Well. This one is interesting because what actually happened is significantly crazier than what the rumor says. The rumor is that Elodin and I were having a fight which ended in him throwing me off the roof. Some say we were having a heated verbal debate, others say I barely said anything and Elodin just snapped, others still say we did battle like Taborlin the Great, calling lightning and fire down from the sky, until I was finally bested by the one and only Master Namer.
   What actually happened is I wanted him to teach me naming, he said no, we walked through his old room at the Haven (which he somehow escaped from, again), we found ourselves on the roof, he looked me in the eye and said "Kvothe, step off the roof," and I stepped off the roof.
   No, he didn't hypnotize me.
   He didn't push me.
   He didn't even touch me.
   I thought he would demonstrate his naming prowess by calling the wind or something to catch me.
   He didn't.
   I'm an idiot.
   But apparently I'm a durable idiot, seeing as I only got out with a broken arm.
2. I killed two assassins by calling lightning down on them
   I wish! They were just two thugs meant to beat me up (I think, they might have been trying to kill me but I hope not). All I did was, I had some magnesium in my pocket from my work in the Fishery making sympathy lamps, so I threw it at them and lit it on fire in midair using sympathy, and the flash blinded them.
   The scary thing is they had a dowsing compass to find me. If you didn't already know, a dowsing compass is like a mommet but instead of stabbing it with needles to kill someone it just points you in their direction. The point is these thugs were idiots, but they had assistance from a skilled arcanist.
   I think it was Ambrose. I wouldn't put it past him to overreact like that.
3. I ran through a massive fire in the Fishery to save Fela
   This one is true and I'm damn proud of myself for it. There was a chemical spill and it caused a MASSIVE fire, and Fela almost died, but I saved her. Lost my eyebrows for it though.
4. Fela repaid me in the way only a woman can
   This rumor is more ridiculous than the one where I'm half demon. Fela would never do that and whoever started this should feel ashamed of themselves.
5. I won my pipes at the Eolian using a broken lute
   This is half true, one of the strings broke while I was playing "The Lay of Sir Savien Traliard." Let me tell you, that hard is already extremely difficult with a working lute, let alone a lute missing a string. And you know what, I still made the audience cry during the last verse.

Okay, that's all the major ones circulating now. Feel free to start crazy rumors about me, I kind of enjoy dispelling them.

--Kvothe

The Eolian, the finest music bar in all the four corners of civilization

Where I came from, part 3

I feel I've thoroughly answered why I'm here, but people have been wondering as to the logistics of how I got here.

After about 4 years in Tarbean, I sold all the worldy possessions I had accrued over the course of my stay and set out for Imre on a caravan. (I'm not going to sugar coat it, I stole most of it. I did what I had to do to survive.) It was on that caravan that I met Denna, the girl I mentioned earlier in the blog.

And at long last, I was at the University. The parts of my story that I care to talk about aren't that exciting, and the parts that are exciting I don't care to talk about, so we'll just leave it at that.

The real story of the Demon in Trebon

Sorry to burst your bubble but it wasn't a demon, it wasn't a dragon, and it wasn't a monster. It was, however, extremely dangerous nonetheless, and I was, in fact, the person who averted the crisis. Here's what happened:

A Draccus is a very large lizard. Very, very large. About ten times the size of a normal human. They are herbivores. Their diet consists mainly of trees. Not leaves, mind you; whole trees. Draccuses do not chew their food. This should give you an idea of how massive they are.
While they do breathe fire, this is used for self defense and as a mating call. They often eat boulders to help grind up their food in their stomach, the same way smaller lizards eat sand or pebbles. They do not attack humans and are actually afraid of loud noises, which is ironic because their footsteps are deafening. They are only dangerous if threatened, and the main danger they present is not the fire they spew out their mouths, but their sheer mass. If a draccus steps on you, you are not surviving the encounter.
Please feel free to read more about them in the excelent book, "The Mating Habits of the Common Draccus." Great read.

Denner resin is a highly illegal, highly addictive substance that releases a euphoric feeling in those who have ingested it. Of course you already know all about sweet eaters, but just to recap, a sweet eater who hasn't had any denner resin will stop at nothing to acquire some, and if that means murdering you for pocket change, so be it.

In the forest bordering Trebon, a man was growing a denner orchard, as it were. He was processing and selling this resin on the black market.

The draccus that attacked Trebon had inadvertently eaten many denner trees while it was prowling the forest. It was, unfortunately, addicted, and it's tiny lizard brain was at least smart enough to understand that when it ate a particular kind of tree it got a particularly good feeling.

It eventually ran out of trees.

It went mildly insane during the withdrawal process.

And it attacked a small town.

Stopping it was no easy task. It involved complicated sympathy, baiting the draccus with more denner resin, and destroying a small Tehlin church. However, I live and die by my reputation, so I'll let you assume the details.

--Kvothe

Kvothe vs. the Draccus

The women at the University, ranked by attractiveness

DUE TO THE EXTREMELY NEGATIVE RECEPTION OF THIS I HAVE TAKEN DOWN MY LIST OF WOMEN. I APOLOGIZE TO ANYONE WHO WAS OFFENDED AND PLEASE STOP SLAPPING ME, I GET IT.

Where I came from, part 2

When I young, maybe 12 years old, my entire family was killed. My entire troupe, everyone I had ever known or loved up until that point.

I'm not going to talk about that.

For the next four years I lived on the streets of Tarbean scrounging for scraps of food and barely surviving. Winters were a nightmare and I almost froze to death several times. I saw the most horrific displays of human cruelty you can imagine and was lucky I survived the ordeal with my sanity.

I'm not going to talk about that either.

What I will talk about is a man named Skarpi, and how he is the direct cause of my being at the University now.

Skarpi was a man who told stories to street urchins in Tarbean. He told me the story of Lanre, which goes as thus:

Lanre was once a great warrior hero, but upon the death of his great love, Lyra, he became grief stricken and attempted to revive her as she had once done for him. Without the Naming ability Lyra possessed, he was unable to do so, so he set off on a quest to find a way to bring her back. He amassed great power in order to bring Lyra back, but was still unsuccessful. He resolved to die himself, and committed suicide, but the power he'd gathered to defy death proved a curse, preventing him from dying again.Mad with grief, Lanre laid waste to six out of mankind's seven greatest cities, either hoping that other powerful heroes would find a way to kill him or possibly just raging against the world. He bound Selitos with his strange new power, and forced him to watch as Myr Tariniel was destroyed, but for whatever reason did not kill his old friend.Some time later, Selitos cursed Lanre with darkness, shrouding his features until the stars fell "nameless from the sky." Thereafter, Lanre was known as Haliax, leader of the Chandrian.

Later he told me the story of the Amyr, right before he was incarcerated by Tehlin priests.

Don't bother telling me the Chandrian aren't real, and that this is just a story that isn't true. To put it in Skarpi's words, "All stories are true. But this one actually happened, if that's what you're asking." Believe me, anything you feel like saying to disuade me from my "crazy" pursuit of knowledge about the Chandrian or the Amyr, I guarantee I've already heard it. I know for a fact the Chandrian are real, the Amyr still exist, and the base reason that I'm at the university is to discover as much as I can about them; everything else is secondary.

Really, it's best not to ask.

--Kvothe

The Chandrian

The Amyr